My mind is a racetrack with too many open loops.Much of the time it hosts a free-for-all of racing thoughts, zooming past one another at breakneck speeds, leaving behind trails of dust, confusion, and expletives. Every corner is littered with distractions, detours, and unfinished business, waiting to be completed. The gray matter in my skull is a relentless machine, constantly churning, processing, and analyzing every detail, every possibility, and every outcome.
It’s like some sadistic obstacle course designed by a caffeine-addicted hamster. I often feel like I’m driving a race car with the steering wheel permanently jammed to the left, all while juggling flaming chainsaws and reciting Shakespearean sonnets backwards. This racetrack is no ordinary circuit; rather it’s a demented carnival of never-ending loops and open circuits, each one teeming with half-baked plans, unfinished tasks, and the occasional existential crisis.
As the hapless driver hurtling down this hellish track, I’m chasing after a myriad of goals, tasks, and ideas. These loops then multiply like gremlins in a rainstorm. Each one serves to remind me of some half-cooked scheme, some forgotten errand, or some fleeting notion that never quite solidified.
Drowning in a sea of unfinished business has become my default state. I bounce from one loop to another like a hyperactive squirrel on Red Bull. I’m never quite able to focus on any one thing for long. There’s always a new shiny object to chase, a fresh distraction to derail my train of thought.
Imagine trying to run a marathon with a hundred different finish lines, each one promising some vague reward. That’s my life. I’m constantly torn between which loop to pursue next, which task to tackle first, or which idea to flesh out before it withers away like my last houseplant. ]
Yet, exhausting as it may be, there’s a twisted sense of exhilaration in this race of endurance. Each open loop holds a glimmer of potential, a tantalizing promise of adventure. Every turn on this demented racetrack offers a chance to explore, to learn, and to grow. At the very least, I’ll hopefully survive with minimal bruising.
It’s rarely fun, though. More often than not, it feels like I’m spinning my wheels, trapped in a perpetual cycle of busyness and stress. These loops can feel like chains, shackling me to an endless treadmill of anxiety.
So, what’s the solution for reining in this wild, racing mind? Well, prioritization is key. Focus on the loops that actually matter, those being the ones that bring joy and fulfillment, and perhaps even the illusion of meaning. We must learn to say no to the loops that serve no purpose, that don’t align with our goals or values. You must set boundaries, even if that’s a skill far from easily acquired. Otherwise, you’re always taking the long way around. Finally, there’s the obligatory nod to self-care;: carve out time for rest and reflection, because even mental racetracks need a pit stop now and then.
In the end, my mind may always be a racetrack with too many open loops. But with a dash of intentionality, a sprinkle of focus, and a heaping spoonful of sarcasm, I can learn to navigate the twists and turns with greater ease, and maybe even enjoy the ride.
~ Amelia Desertsong
