How the Five Paragraph Essay Almost Ruined My Writing
When I was in high school, students were often forced to write their essays in the dreaded five-paragraph format. Being a passive-aggressive rebel, I often neglected to write that way. Because of this, I’d often be graded poorly on many assignments. I just let my words flow without any regard for restrictions we were meant […]
The Postmodern Content Creator Economy
In the twenty-first century, every waking moment for a content creator is calculated towards appeasing the ever-hungry beast known as the algorithm. What a time to be alive! Forget about tortured artists starving for the sake of the craft; now, we have hustlers fueled by energy drinks, furiously tapping out tweets at 2 AM, all […]
The Whacky World of Inflation and Cost of Living
We’re living in a time where the cost of living is skyrocketing like a renegade balloon that’s slipped from a toddler’s grasp—only this balloon has no intention of coming back down. Instead, it’s floating up, up, and away, dragging our wallets and sanity along for the ride. Inflation and the cost of living have decided […]
To Be Great, You Must Want to Know the Truth
When I was growing up, I was often told I had “potential.” My teachers, relatives, and even random neighbors who saw me lugging around stacks of books too big for my scrawny arms would nod approvingly and tell me, “You’re going places.” Of course, they never specified where I was going—just that I was going. […]
Leveling Up at the Game of Life, Writing, and Other Trivial Pursuits
There’s something disturbingly satisfying about turning life into a game. Slapping a shiny label on the monotonous grind of daily existence, like “gamification,” makes it all feel a bit more palatable. Setting goals becomes like gathering ridiculous little badges or leveling up in some virtual fantasy. Except in real life (IRL, if you will) instead […]
How Winnie the Pooh Surpassed Star Wars as the 3rd Highest Grossing Media Franchise
In a plot twist more unexpected than Jar Jar Binks’ continued existence, Winnie the Pooh has quietly slathered honey all over the ambitions of the Star Wars franchise, emerging as the third highest-grossing media empire. Yes, you heard it right. That honey-obsessed bear, who can barely put on a pair of pants, has outperformed lightsaber-wielding […]
If You Blog, Will They Still Show Up?
I grew up in the golden age of blogging, that glorious time when you could scribble a few thoughts on the internet, hit ‘publish,’ and suddenly find yourself the authority on just about anything you please. Yeah, I remember those days fondly. Back then, the most intense competition was between you and that one overly […]
What It Takes to Be an Essayist, According to E.B. White
Writing is a shape-shifting beast. You can be “good” at it in a dozen different forms and still feel like you’re chasing your own tail. For years, I fancied myself the next great novelist — imagining a future where my name graced the bestsellers list, sandwiched between the latest dystopian romance and whatever Stephen King […]
Why You Should Be an Enemy of All That You Read
There’s an old quote by Ibn Al-Haytham — Alhazen as he’s known in the West — where he declares, “The duty of the man who investigates the writings of scientists, if learning the truth is his goal, is to make himself an enemy of all that he reads.” Now, Alhazen is mostly known for his […]