Don’t Focus on Winning — Focus on Progress

Why Consistent Effort is Better Than Flash-in-the-Pan Success

I’m going to drop a brutal truth right now: most of us will never be the winners of life. If you’re the sort of person who still holds onto dreams of grand success, allow me to rain on your parade — gently, of course. One of the biggest traps we human beings fall into is obsessing over long-term success, imagining we’ll reach the pinnacle of their chosen field. We visualize ourselves holding a trophy with our names on it, and maybe even shedding a single tear for the cameras. But, yeah, for ninety-nine percent of us, it’s not going to happen that way.

In fitness, sales, or business, people who laser-focus on hitting their goals often end up with a sad little puddle of frustration instead of a shiny accolade. They see how much work lies ahead and their spirit breaks faster than a cheap pencil. Success doesn’t just pop up overnight like a pimple before prom. It’s the slow, creeping result of consistently grinding away, day after miserable day. Only once you’re thoroughly broken in do things start moving faster than your wildest dreams. You finally realize that “progress” just means making fewer mistakes than you did yesterday.

So, stop fantasizing about winning, and start focusing on not completely messing up first.

Set Goals You Won’t Regret Later—Not Just ‘Winning’

Contrary to popular belief, winning isn’t everything. In fact, thinking that it is might just be the fast track to ruining your life with stress, anxiety, and a deep-seated hatred of your competition. When you start competing with others, you lose your mind. There’s always going to be someone who’s stronger, smarter, or just plain luckier than you. Rather than trying to outshine everyone else, focus on what you can actually control, like not being a total disaster.

Not everything you do is going to be a masterpiece. That beautiful essay you slaved over for hours? Five people read it, and three of them were just being polite. You could master SEO like a sorcerer and still have your article sink into the abyss of the Internet. So, why did your magnum opus bomb? Sadly, the world is a chaotic mess of viral trends and fleeting attention spans. Your lack of exposure could be anything from the algorithm’s fickleness to the fact that everyone was too busy watching the latest viral TikTok’s that day.

What I’ve learned from countless failures is that success isn’t just about what you achieve; it’s tied to what you learn when you fail spectacularly. Trust me, you’ll fail, no matter what. The human brain is wired to chase the next little dopamine hit from a success, no matter how trivial. But if you want to be anything but a total screw-up, you need to embrace failure like an awkward hug from an old friend you’d rather avoid.

How to Set Goals That Won’t Make You Hate Your Life

Setting and achieving goals isn’t some magical process. There are three steps: clarity, action, and reward. It’s easier said than done, though. First, you have to clearly know what you want, which is harder than it sounds when so many people have the attention span of a gnat. Then, you have to actually do something about it. Finally, you’ll need to reward yourself, as most of the time, the only one who’s going to care anyway.

So, where do people go off the rails? They get too close to their goals and start setting the bar so high that they need a ladder to reach it. I once had to back out of a project that was so doomed I could practically hear the Titanic’s theme music playing in the background. But instead of stepping back and seeing the big picture, we kept throwing more hours and energy into the void, hoping it would magically start working. Of course, it didn’t. People aren’t bottomless wells of time and effort. We’re more like cheap batteries that start leaking acid if you push too hard.

When Failure Feels Like a Punch in the Face, Take the Hit and Learn

Before you start blaming yourself for every failure, take a breath. You can do everything right, and the universe will still decide to laugh in your face anyway. Don’t start bashing your head against the wall, though. In this chaotic world, there’s always something new to learn; unfortunately, it’s usually the hard way.

My particular brand of masochism for many years was the field of content marketing. In my decade-plus in the industry, I learned that there’s always a new niche popping up like an annoying whack-a-mole. If you don’t keep your eyes peeled, you’ll miss it. Then you’ll spend the next month wondering why your brilliant idea fell flat. Every failure is just another lesson on what not to do next time. It’s like stepping on a rake that not only hurts your foot, but flips up and the handle whacks you in the field to add insult to injury. Sure, it hurts, but at least you’ll remember where it is next time.

Case in point: one of my most successful blogs bit the dust because of a garbage web host. I’d reached 2,000 visitors a day, and my cheap hosting plan just couldn’t handle the heat. The site crashed, and my carefully crafted search engine rankings went up in flames. After three months of banging my head against the digital wall, I cannibalized the best content for future projects and walked away. I came away wiser, although I was more than a bit bruised from so much hard work going down the drain.

Keep Your Priorities Straight or Suffer the Consequences

Prioritizing your goals sounds like common sense. But when you’re juggling a million things at once, it’s easier said than done. Take a step back, look at what’s most important in your life right now and focus on that. You might be shocked at how much more productive you can be when you stop trying to do everything at once.

Here’s a wild idea: every few months, reassess your priorities. I did that and finally decided to quit the social media rat race. After all, who has time to scream into the void when you could be doing something more useful? Once a darling of content marketing, social media became nothing more than a frustrating time sink for me. All my web traffic starting coming exclusively from search engines, so I ditched the platforms and doubled down on what actually worked. Now, I get more traffic without social media than I ever did with it.

I’m not saying you should abandon social media like a sinking ship; it might still work for you, especially if you enjoy the rampant negativity and drama. But if it’s draining your time and sanity, it might be worth reconsidering. Focus on what gets you results, not what everyone else is doing.

Growing Pains: The Only Kind of Pain You Can’t Avoid

Failure isn’t just inevitable; it’s necessary. Without it, you’re just floating along in a bubble of mediocrity, and nobody wants that. Consistency is key, and while winning feels great, it’s the failures that teach you the most. Even the best teams in the world don’t win every game; they just win enough to stay in the running.

So, take your wins where you can, but don’t ignore the lessons hidden in your failures. Success isn’t about never losing — it’s about winning more than you fail. The reality is: if you’re not failing, you’re not trying hard enough.

~ Amelia Desertsong

Amelia Desertsong is a former content marketing specialist turned essayist and creative nonfiction author. She writes articles on many niche hobbies and obscure curiosities, pretty much whatever tickles her fancy.
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