What Really is Self-Love?

photo of woman doing heart shaped hand gestures

Self-Love is a term thrown around a lot nowadays. It’s a good term which encompasses other terms such as self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-respect. Why do all three of those fall right under self-love? If you can learn to accept and love yourself, those things will necessarily follow in time.

But, self-love can also be a difficult term to unpack, and I’m not sure that people always use it correctly. It’s said that you must love yourself before you can truly love another person. I didn’t used to subscribe to that philosophy, but it’s true that if you’re not right with yourself, you will find yourself having great difficulty with others. Over the years, I have come to realize that, yes, you must help yourself before helping others.
Some worry that simply “loving” one’s self can actually lead to selfish, prideful behavior. Sure, you definitely don’t want that. But, that’s not really what self-love is, my friends.
While I do believe in the power of attraction, it’s important to keep in mind that intentions are everything. Self-love for the sake of attracting other people to loving you is not the way to go. You have to love yourself as what you are, but in a humble and respectful way.

Gaining healthy self-love also includes learning true self-confidence in one’s abilities. The trick is to not get cocky. I’ll admit that I’ve become cocky in the past about my advanced writing abilities and skills. But, as is the case with everything, there’s always going to be someone better than you at any given thing. 

The thing to do then is to learn from those that are better at something than you in order to improve your own knowledge and skills.  Then, it is also important to figure out how someone else is actually better at something than you. Is it an approach? Is it being well-versed in a topic that you’re not? Is it using a particular process that you never considered? 

In any case, you need to educate yourself about your betters and not simply blindly admire them, or worse, be envious and jealous of them. Really, self-love is about learning to appreciate yourself and what you are capable of, while also being open to constantly finding ways to improve yourself. While true and healthy self-love can be difficult to master, it’s an important skill for every one of us to develop.

Writing words, spreading love, Amelia Desertsong primarily writes creative nonfiction articles, as well as dabbling in baseball, Pokemon, Magic the Gathering, and whatever else tickles her fancy.
Back To Top
%d bloggers like this: