“Relax, relax, and listen to the sounds of space.” That’s what one of my cousins used to tell me when I was younger. I was extremely hyperactive. That never really changed. I just happened to internalize it more as I got older.
But, now, I take time to center myself, and pray for Love, Light, and cake. I like cake.
All joking aside… I have an extremely hyperactive mind. It’s gotten to the point as I’ve gotten older that my thoughts overrun me most days. Sometimes, I have to open up a Google Doc on my phone and just blab for an hour. In fact, I speak so quickly that it actually glitches out the phone. It starts repeating what I started with since the RAM gets overwhelmed by my verbosity.
So, I recently turned to doing speech to text on the computer. I used to have Dragon, but when it updated, it glitched and asked me to pay for a new license. As it is, Google Chrome’s built in speech to text feature is adequate, although greatly lacking in its accuracy. But, what it does do is allow me to capture thoughts that may otherwise have escaped into entropy.
The fact is that I can never truly relax and listen to the sounds of space. There is no silence between these ears. The problem is that for as powerful as my mind is at creating these thoughts, it isn’t much use at organizing them in any proper sort of way.
I write so much, but yet all my scribblings each become like one puzzle piece among millions. And, those millions of pieces come from hundreds of thousands of completely different puzzles. It’s no wonder I can’t fit many of them together.
This is where verse has often helped me. It allows me to focus my thoughts on a form. There is so much beauty in forms. While I love prose (obviously), it often becomes like a runaway train barreling through the wilderness. When it crashes, it’s a very ugly sight.
For so many years, people were trying so hard to quiet – even silence – the squabbling inside my skull. I couldn’t let them, even as much as I wanted to do so myself at times. For those of you who can enjoy total peace and silence, I envy you. It’s simply not my truth.
Now, I have learned to center myself much more effectively recently. That involves letting flow a lot of thoughts I previously never would’ve revealed that I was thinking. Perhaps if I do some miraculously epic release, then I will finally enjoy some peace of mind.
How do you find peace? Have you ever truly found it? Please share your tips and tricks on self-centering with me. I could use them. 🙂
Forever rambling inside my head,