Did I waste too much of my youth in dreaming? Often, I found myself daydreaming of the spaces between the stars. There were giant epic battles, cat and dog fights between grand elegant space vessels clashing with fantastic ammunition of light and fire…
Perhaps I spent far too many hours in monologue with my stuffed polar bear, Trixie. It was her permanent silence that was the main calming influence on an otherwise hyperactive, too often troubled young mind.
I do know that my many hours of play with my nana’s Dachshund puppy were certainly worth every moment. At least she would actually reply in her own patented smart-aleck way, Whether it was to my musings on the color of some fleeting crush’s eyes, or the constant erraticness of the New England weather, the puppy would have a response. I would at least find the company of her warmth, soft fur, and quick beating heart a remedy for the loneliness of the often solitude existence of my younger years.
But, she’s been gone for years now. Trixie’s silence continues, as she stands by my bedside. She’s now silver-grey and brown with the passage of time, but sometimes still the recipient of my ritual monologues. (Not so much recently, though.)
I have at times wished I’d saved these little one-sided talks via voice recorder. “Dear Trixie” could’ve been something. Not sure how I would use those silly monologues today, though. Would they even be suitable for mass consumption?
I mean, Trixie doesn’t mind my rambling on. Some do find my voice appealing to listen to, of course. But, for hours on end? Perhaps not. It’s far more likely I make my way with writing.
Oh, how many delight in the entertainment of my numerous forays into poetry and reflective prose. I ask my audience so many questions, and they never hesitate to answer in their own, often enchanting and elucidating ways. This I say most sarcastically. In any case, the attention is greatly appreciated.
I see now that my trivial pursuits of imagination and make-believe are far from for naught. They make fine material for the entertainment of so many a wandering mind. Some trivial pursuits as it turns out are completely worth the effort.
~ Amelia <3