Living “Inside Out”

By “Inside Out,” I’m not referring to the adorable Disney film in which colorful personalities personify various emotions. While it is an extremely creative and fun feature film, I’m not talking about that flick. I mean that you have to truly be the person that you are on the inside and make it very clear on the outside. 

To be clear, I don’t mean looks. We can’t all be drop-dead gorgeous.. Oh, never mind, we can!

I’m talking about putting your heart on your sleeve and going to town with the wackiest notions you could ever imagine. You can’t just sit still and be like, OK I’ll go live my dreams when I retire. Retire from what, exactly? If you’re still breathing and can move around, you can never truly retire. You can retire from the world’s nonsense, I suppose.

Lately, I’ve been debating who I really am. I’ve been using a different name under the various content that I’ve penned. I’ve decided to use it on a regular basis. As much as I love the name “Amelia Grace” I found it is actually a bit too common for my tastes. No, I needed something that was more reflective of who I am as a person today.

When I was fudging around with various name generators in search of a new pen name awhile back, I came across a gem: Phoenix Desertstorm. However, I decided as an aspiring singer/songwriter, to change it to Song. This, of course, then became my Wiccan name, as well, and we’ll get to that another time. And, hey, considering the ashes from which I’m putting my life back together, I better rise like a Phoenix!

The Desertsong part sounds cool, but I like to think it’s pretty descriptive of me, too. For much of my life, I was in a desert, often writing lyrics bred from loneliness and despair and all that lovely sad nonsense. Actually, it was truly awful and depressing. I can’t say how blessed I am that I’m no longer in that way.

Yes, today, I’m far from lonely. For the last six years, I’ve had an amazing partner and together we made a family. We went on so many awesome random adventures! Unfortunately, due to personality conflicts and family troubles beyond my control, we had to part ways. At least, we are still friends, but it’s been very difficult trying to put myself back together.

I’m not going to go into all the details. But, it’s sufficient to say that I need to scrape together quite a sum to put things back in working order again! It’s been extremely discouraging these past few months, but I have the motivation to keep going! I just have to put my mind in the right place.

I’m not holding anything back at all anymore. People kept knocking me down saying that I was being foolish and unrealistic. But, my friends, let me tell you, you make your own reality. NEVER let anyone else make it for you. Cherish your free will. Once you truly comprehend what it means to make your own reality, you’ll never look back.

The, you’ll know what I mean by living “inside out.” Open up and let go of all your fears and regrets. No, I don’t mean join a cult. It’s easier said than done, but just pull yourself together and pursue what everyone else says is impossible. Chances are, it probably isn’t.

Especially, if you have deep spirituality. It also doesn’t hurt to have Jesus Christ as Your Savior. But, you don’t have to take my word for it!

~ Amelia Grace Phoenix Desertsong <3

Writing words, spreading love, Amelia Desertsong primarily writes creative nonfiction articles, as well as dabbling in baseball, Pokemon, Magic the Gathering, and whatever else tickles her fancy.
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