Life isn’t always butterflies and rainbows. For us mere mortals, life is often like trudging through a murky swamp. If there is an occasional butterfly flitting by, it’s only to remind us that not everything is pure misery. In our darkest moments, when we seek guidance from peers and loved ones, we’re insisted to do our best to smile and make the best of things, even when we don’t feel like it. Put on a brave face, they say, find the silver lining, et cetera. But sometimes, the only silver lining I see is the one I imagine strangling me as it slowly unravels from the clouds.
When the shadows first started creeping into my life, they didn’t just politely knock on the door. No, they barged in, kicked over my potted plants, and set fire to the drapes. The once vibrant colors of my existence — those lovely butterflies and rainbows of my childhood — were snatched away, replaced by the ominous caw of ravens and the mournful howls of wolves. My picturesque cerulean sky became a miserable palette of grays. It was as if the universe had switched to a black-and-white filter just to mess with me.
Lost in this dreary, monochrome world, I stumbled around, desperately grasping for any shred of hope, like someone trying to find their phone in a dark room after foolishly dropping it under the bed. During these dark days, life took a wild, reckless joyride on a pendulum of emotions. I was just a helpless passenger clinging to the sides, trying not to get flung off into the abyss. Yet, as I waded through this emotional quagmire, I came to a strange realization: the darkness didn’t completely obliterate the beauty of life. It just made it harder to find, like one of those hidden picture puzzles where you must squint and tilt your head just right to see the damn butterfly.
Of course, when life gets me down, everyone says I should focus on the little things, the small, beautiful details. It’s so easy to say that when you’re not being bombarded by the never-ending disasters and negativity that seem to permeate our world like a bad smell you can’t get out of your shirt. Still, when I’m feeling particularly overwhelmed, I try to take their advice and find something simple to appreciate. Maybe I’ll stare at a flower for a while and pretend it’s doing something more interesting than just sitting there wondering why I’m staring at it for so long.
Then there’s the problem of the hateful, spiteful, miserable lot of people who seem to crawl out of the woodwork whenever life is already kicking you when you’re down. It’s almost impressive how humanity can be so adept at showing its ugliest side right when you least need it. But, despite it all, I must keep telling myself that most people are just trying to get by, that humanity isn’t entirely a lost cause. Sure, there’s probably someone we know right now who is probably one bad day away from becoming a full-blown supervillain, but there’s still hope, right?
So, at my low points, I sit back and force myself to appreciate the butterflies and rainbows. I try to remember that the sun still rises, the clouds still drift lazily across the sky, and the world hasn’t completely gone to hell—at least not yet. I breathe in the sweet smells of nature – long as I’m not choking on the fumes of the latest industrial disaster — and marvel at the so-called grand design of this chaotic world. I still cling to the belief, regardless of how nonsensical it is, that people still have the chance to do something good with themselves.
Sure, it’s not easy to focus on the possibilities when you’re knee-deep in life’s muck, but it’s necessary if you don’t want to sink entirely. So, I keep reminding myself about those butterflies and rainbows, trying to believe that there’s still beauty left in this world, even if it’s buried under a mountain of trash. It’s in our best interest to remember and appreciate these fleeting moments of beauty. Honestly, if we don’t, what else do we really have?
~ Amelia Desertsong
