The thought occurred to me today, maybe the big, tangled knot of the world’s troubles unravels down to something incredibly simple: people just won’t get out of each other’s way.

The more I think about it, I’m not sure why we react to others so often in such a harsh, accusatory way. The world is wide enough for each of us to forge our own paths. But instead of walking side-by-side, or letting others pass with a friendly nod, there’s this constant bumping into each other. This jostling isn’t always aggressive, and sometimes we’re completely unaware that such friction even exists.

Someone will plant their feet firmly in the middle of your path, absolutely convinced their spot is as far as you’ll go on that route. Someone else rushes ahead, pushing through the madding crowd, convinced their pace is right for everyone. Another person walks backwards, telling everyone they’re going the wrong way entirely.

We’re not just dealing with this antagonism in physical space, either. We encounter similar conflict within our own mind-spaces. Too much negativity crowds our hearts, leaving us little to no space to simply be.

I’ve always appreciated the existence of different opinions. I like to think of them being like different colored leaves on the forest floor, adding to the richness of our natural world. Instead, society seems to encourage this urge to sweep away all the colors that aren’t our favorite. Some will even go as far to tell the red leaf it should be gold. A few will even insist the crunchy brown leaf is somehow fundamentally wrong for not being green and supple.

We step on others’ ideas all the time, rarely maliciously.But even when we think we’re simply disagreeing with a passing comment, to others, it can feel like we stomped on their very soul without noticing the delicate structures of emotion, thought, and personality we’re crushing.

Imagine each of our peers, and ourselves, as like trees.  Think of the peaceful and ample space needed for a tree to grow. Like seedlings pushing towards the sun, we just need a little patch of earth and a little light to take root.

But so often, larger trees, often not on purpose, cast too much shadow. They spread their roots wide, soaking up all the water, convinced their way of growing is the only way, leaving little room for the smaller shoots to find their own light. We do that, too, don’t we? We try to shape others’ lives, trim their branches to fit our ideal of perfect trees, forgetting they have their own blueprint, their own share of sunrays to reach for, too.

When it comes to our shared soundscape, especially in suburban and urban areas, there is so much discord and utter noise. Our world could enjoy a gentle harmony with different melodies playing softly, creating rich, layered sounds. But instead, it often feels like everyone has their volume turned up to the max, shouting their tune off key, trying to drown out as many others as possible.

Any soft spoken or whispered understandings get hopelessly lost in the cacophony of such noisy insistence. Too often, the gentle tapping of someone trying to make something new is drowned out by the booming declarations of “that’s not how it’s done.”

People “getting in the way” often manifests as unsolicited advice which lands on our heads like rocks. It comes off as out-of-hand judgment and off-hand remarks that chill the air and leaves our lungs struggling. Too many of our peers operate under the assumption that our way of living, thinking, believing, or loving is the standard. Others insist that it should be the default, and everything else is an exotic deviation or, worse, entirely in error.

It’s just like how nation states draw arbitrary lines and say this is “mine,” constantly pushing against the idea of “yours.” We too often forget that the living earth breathes underneath all the lines. Such artificial boundaries are recognized by no natural force or being other than fellow humans. There’s this constant, low-level hum of interference, coming from the top-down, of needing to correct, to manage, to control, and to simply be in the way. For some reason, we just accept this as the status quo when there is no logical reason to do so!

What if we could all just collectively take a deep breath then gently exhale? Most of us could use a soft stepping back. Imagine the space it would create for us in our own hearts and minds. We’d gain the space to think our own thoughts without interruption or immediate judgment.

Each of us needs space to walk our own paths at our own paces, whether we’re meandering or on a direct course. We must allow ourselves the space to make mistakes, hopefully a place as quiet and restful that you can find. Finally, we must give one another space for different kinds of beauty to unfold without critique.

It doesn’t mean we should seek disconnection or isolation, though. You can walk near or even alongside someone. We can share the warmth of the sun, appreciate the path they’re on, and even offer a hand if they stumble and seek one. But we must respect their journey, their personal space, and their various ways. Don’t ever plant yourself in front of them, even if it looks like they’re about to walk off of a cliff. Refrain from trying to steer them from behind. Just let them be and get out of their light.

The deepest peace isn’t found in thoughtless agreement or micromanaged control, with everyone marching in lockstep. No, it’s found in the quiet, respectful spaces we choose to create between us. Allowing for these personal spaces gives every person, every idea, every gentle way of being, to simply exist without being constantly jostled or blocked.

So, I ponder this possibility quietly and hopefully, that the answer for so many of our individual and societal ills is simple. We just need to gently step aside more often and let things be. Just let it be.

~ Artemis Desertsong